Mabel can get away with anything.
From the moment Mabel’s owner Ruth saw the dog’s face on the Internet web site, she was smitten. She HAD to have the little Maltese puppy. No expense was spared to purchase Mabel and fly her to Albany.
Mabel has a Coach collar and leash, plush dog beds with her name embroidered on them in every room of the house, and a wardrobe of sweaters and coats to suit any occasion or weather condition. She goes to the groomer every three weeks, th
e same as Ruth’s trips to the salon. She has the best veterinary care that money can buy, and she dines on pricey organic dog food supplemented with home-cooked chicken breasts and brown rice.
Mabel’s owner Ruth is an outgoing and loving person, with many friends and family members who visit her regularly. Once a week, a group of three women friends come over to play cards. Lately, however, there have been covert whispers among them about changing t
his routine. The truth is, none of the women like Mabel.
Oh sure, they admit, Mabel is cute but Mabel is also downright rude. Mabel barks at them, jumps on them, scratches their tender legs, and whines annoyingly while they snack on crudites and Brie. If one of them stands up to visit the powder room, Ruth has to hold Mabel because otherwise she lunges at them. Once, she actually nipped at an ankle, which Ruth dismissed as “Mabel just being playful.”
On top of that, Ruth’s house smells. The floors are practically carpeted in piddle pads, evidence of Ruth’s ongoing efforts to house train Mabel. “She’s still a puppy” says Ruth, “she’s 90 percent there” which means
Mabel and a pee pad or two have been briefly introduced.
At the risk of offending her and possibly ending a longtime friendship, the group decided to stage an intervention.
Just like the 12 Steps for Taking Your House Back From the Dog, here are:
The 10 Steps of Rude Dog Crisis Intervention:
1. Don’t Rescue the Addict – in this case, the dog owner is addicted to her dog. She needs to recognize that the dog’s behavior is her problem, and to stop making excuses for it.
2. Don’t Become an Enabler – trying to ignore Mabel and forge on with card games and conversation has been fruitless anyway. Pretending all is well is so exhausting.
3. Find the Right Time – when Ruth has Mabel on her lap is NOT an opportune moment to tell her that her dog is a mini-Marley. Wait until Ruth is on her knees scrubbing Nature’s Miracle into her Persian rug.
4. Find Strength in Numbers – you can do this, ALL of you, so no single person looks like the bad guy.
5. Be Honest – make a list of the dog’s transgressions, cite examples, and resist the temptation to exaggerate your pain and suffering.
6. State the Consequences – no more get-togethers until Mabel and Ruth have their respective acts together.
7. Listen – Ruth will not go silently into that dark night. What was the name of that river in Egypt??
8. Be Prepared – Expect protests, maybe even tears. Be strong. Recall pungent odors and snagged stockings for inspiration.
9. Don’t Give Up – Mabel – and your friendship – are worth the trouble, and even Ruth might admit that a well-behaved dog will enhance her life rather than detract from it.
10. Find a Good Rehab Center – or in this case, a good dog trainer.
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