Where does your dog sleep?
Let me rephrase that: Does your dog sleep with you?
When I first meet with new clients, I always ask them where their dogs sleep. Most people admit that the dog is on, and occasionally in, the owner’s bed. I’m not sure why everyone says this sheepishly, as if it’s something to be ashamed of. Men especially get red in the face, refuse to meet my eyes, and mutter “with me.” Really, do they think I will call the dog training police on them for this transgression?!
We won’t even go into the statistics of how many people sleep with their dogs. Dogs and their humans are members of the same pack, and the pack sleeps together. Where it gets iffy is when the dog is aggressive, or has issues.
Calvin, the St. Bernard, has issues.
Throughout Calvin’s life, he has slept with my clients. Not on their bed – it was determined pretty quickly that even as a puppy, his enormous bulk would preclude that arrangement. He slept on the floor of their room in a nice big plush bed with his name embroidered on it. Everyone was happy. Everyone slept well.
The years passed. Calvin got older, as dogs do, and arthritis set in. By the time Calvin was 10, he could no longer make it up the stairs to the bedroom. On the day that it was evident to everyone that he just could not get up there on his own, Calvin’s owners dutifully carried his bed downstairs, placed it near a radiator for warmth and showed him his new sleeping accommodations.
The dog, of course, wouldn’t hear of this. He demanded to be back with his owners – all night long. He howled, whined and barked relentlessly. At first, his owners were apologetic. Then, as the night wore on, they became dismayed, then frustrated, and then angry. All attempts to get him to be quiet were fruitless. Finally, just to get some sleep, one of the owners went downstairs with a blanket and pillow, and curled up on the sofa next to his bed. Dog and household fell asleep.
The next night, the same thing happened.
And the next night. And so on.
This scenario probably sounds familiar to anyone who has brought home a puppy and suffered through the first nights as the new arrival expressed dissatisfaction with the lack of evening company. In fact, its identical to bringing home a newborn baby. As a parent of two now-grown daughters, I still remember those nights – actually, the first five years – of sleeplessness. Let’s just say I’m sympathetic to Calvin’s owners’ point of view.
However, it is Calvin’s point of view that we need to consider…
Calvin: Excuse me, but what the heck is going on? I’m the pack leader and you’re going upstairs where I can’t watch over you while we sleep? Think again, oh lowly pack members. There is no way I’m going to let you stay up there by yourselves, and since I can’t go to you, YOU are coming to me. Get down here NOW. Do you hear me? I’m not resting until I you are parked right here. I mean it.
Calvin’s owners were quite shocked by this behavior. Up until this nightmare, he had been an easy-going kind of guy. The warning signs were all there, though, if you knew what to look for. For example:
1. Calvin notified his owners by woofing when he had to go outside and when he wanted to come back in. He also woofed when it was time for his breakfast AND his dinner.
2. On walks with his owners, he pulled the retractable leash out as far as it would go, and paused frequently to sniff and pee wherever he felt like it.
3. Calvin barked when the doorbell rang and when the postal carrier came, on garbage collection day, and when the newspaper was delivered.
4. If anyone sat down in a chair or on a sofa, Calvin would mosey up and insist on being petted. Everyone complied, of course, because he was awfully big. Not everyone was happy about it, though, because he drools and sheds.
Ultimately, it was Calvin all along who dictated and controlled the household and everyone in it.
He did it in such a nice way, no one minded. That is, until that fateful night.
Now what?
At his age, it can be difficult to change Calvin’s mind and get him to sleep downstairs alone.
Here are some ideas his owner’s can try:
Take Calvin for a long walk before bed time, so that he is tired out and falls asleep before the usual nighttime rituals that trigger his anxiety.
Give Calvin an item from their own bed, such as a pillow or blanket, to sleep with. It should have the owner’s smell on it.
Gradually increase the space between the sofa where the owner is sleeping and Calvin’s bed. If its not possible to move the sofa, use a sleeping bag. Eventually, the sleeping bag is at the foot of the stair, then on the landing, then upstairs.
Reverse the leadership in the house. Go first through doors. Don’t respond instantaneously to Calvin’s demands. Get the barking under control. Ditch the retractable leash, and make sure that Calvin walks beside, not in front, of his owners.
Calvin’s tale is a precautionary one. If you have a young dog or puppy, it’s never too early to start being the pack leader so potential daytime – and nighttime – struggles are avoided.
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