Those gated adults-only communities in Florida always seem to have lists of rules that regulate everything from how often your yard must be mowed to what constitutes an acceptable mailbox. Peeking from behind a window is an ever-vigilant retiree, waiting to apprehend innocent visitors for the slightest transgression. This is particularly evident at the community’s pool. That thing about showering first – does anyone really do that??
So, here are my suggestions for guidelines to post on your fence, if you are lucky enough to have a swimming pool in your yard AND a Labrador Retriever (or other aquatic animal):
1. Swimming is allowed ONLY when an adult is supervising, or if the gate is left accidently unlatched, or if no one is looking.
2. All swimming is strictly at the dog’s own risk, and at the risk of the pool’s liner if nails are not trimmed. Soft Paws worn on the nails is recommended.
3. The use of inflatable toys, balls, and floats are at the discretion of the adults, and are subject to stealing and chewing if left for longer than 10 minutes.
4. Dogs who are not housebroken are not allowed to swim unless they have been a Good Dog before entering the pool. Peeing in the pool is not permitted.
5. Diving is only permitted in the deep end of the pool. Dogs are asked to refrain from whining, yelping and running crazily from side-to-side before leaping into the pool.
5. Any dog who can not swim the width of the pool may not enter the pool unless accompanied by an adult, and is really a sad excuse for a so-called water breed.
6. No foreign objects, large soup bones or half-chewed slippers may be brought in the pool at any time.
7. Profane barking, boisterous or other inappropriate conduct will not be tolerated.
8. Absolutely no swimming when there is thunder and/or lightning. All trembling, howling, and storm anxiety must be done under the owner’s bed.
9. Personal articles left at the pool such as chewsticks, balls or Kongs, if not claimed in a timely manner, will be discarded.
10. Frantic pawing at the pool’s edge to get out is not permitted. Adults must teach the dog to exit the pool by using the pool stairs.
11. Shaking off water after a swim is required, but only in designated areas, away from chaise lounges and sleeping adults.
12. The expensive new sofa in the family room is off limits to wet dogs.
Any dog that does not obey these rules will be relegated to the baby pool.
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