Shelton is a 4 year old Yorkipoo that was recently adopted by a young couple. The rescue group had minimal information about Shelton. All they knew was that Shelton’s original owner was an elderly woman who had to go to a nursing home and had no family with whom Shelton could live.
“I love this dog already. He’s great with me! The problem is my husband, John. Shelton is terrified of him” said his new owner. “When my husband comes home, Shelton runs into the bedroom and cowers under the bed. The dog won’t be in the same room with John. John’s feelings are hurt. He can’t understand why Shelton hates him. He’s never raised his voice to him. I’m afraid if we don’t fix this, John won’t want to keep the dog.”
When I met Shelton, he displayed all the hallmarks of a poorly socialized dog. He barked at me when I arrived, backing away, and then dove under the kitchen table as soon as I entered the house. And that’s where he stayed for the first 20 minutes of my visit, peering at me with wide frightened eyes.
Eventually, he mustered up the courage to sniff my legs and accept a treat from me. After that, he lay down at my feet with a resigned sigh. Apparently, I had passed his acceptability test.
If Shelton had a checklist for worthy human companions, here is what it would look
like:
_√_ Female
_√_ No eye contact
_√_ No talking
_√_ Smells like other dogs
_√_ No sudden movements
_√_ Dispenses soft chewy treats
And that’s where poor John fell short.
No, obviously he can’t – and won’t – affect a sex change. But he’s been trying WAY too hard to charm himself into Shelton’s affections.
John has been sitting on the floor talking in a cooing voice to Shelton, plying him with dry kibble, trying vainly to pet him. And Abigail, John’s wife, hasn’t helped the process, either. She has allowed, even encouraged, Shelton to run from John into her arms for comfort.
I reminded John to keep in mind that a real and satisfying relationship takes time. The foundation of that relationship should be love AND trust.
John also needed to remember that dogs have a different relationship with each member of a family.
The plan for developing that relationship includes:
1. John feeds Shelton all of his meals – calmly and quietly – dropping food into Shelton’s dish from his hand.
2. In the evening, Shelton is on leash next to John – calmly and quietly.
3. Walks are with John and Abigail and Shelton together, with the dog between them. The leash can be passed from one owner to the other randomly.
4. On my advice, John searched for a “hobby” that he alone could share with Shelton. He discovered that Shelton loves to play fetch, so once a day, John and only John tosses a ball for Shelton.
Comments