There is a lovely children’s book that has been out for a few years called Flawed Dogs (Berkeley B
reathed, published by Little, Brown and Company, 2003). No matter how often I read it, I get teary by the end. Okay, I am a sap. The book has a simple message that every dog, regardless of how it looks or acts, deserves a loving home.
The best combination, of course, is when owner and dog is a good match, a challenge in itself. It’s a bit like finding your life partner. I was reminded of this recently when I met with a client who had adopted a dog only one week after her canine companion of 15 years died. This dog was her soul mate – he seemed to intuit her needs, they communicated wordlessly, and had a routine that was satisfying and enriching to them both. The void in her life with the passing of this beloved animal was too much. She could not come home to the emptiness of the house so she found Olivia, a mixed breed, at a local shelter and adopted her.
Now, like all dogs, Olivia is a work in progress. She’s only 5 months and is the typical exuberant puppy that needs to learn the ways of the world and the house in which she now lives. She has a sweet face and is eager to please, and I enjoyed working with her.
But Olivia’s owner thought differently. She relentlessly listed all of the dog’s flaws: jumping on the counters, chewing flip-flips, missing the pee pads in the kitchen, and pulling on the leash. She didn’t like the way Olivia sat at her feet. She thought it was odd – and messy – that Olivia to
ok her food from her bowl and brought it under the dining room table to eat it. She was upset that the dog would look out the window and leave nose prints on the glass. Her previous dog never did these things.
It seemed that her intent was on getting Olivia to be the comrade she no longer had, not merely a well-trained Olivia. She was disappointed in the dog even though I assured her that, over time, with practice, patience, and consistency, Olivia’s behavioral issues will be resolved. Still, Olivia has her own unique little quirks that probably won’t be trained out of her, nor should they be. Those little “flaws” are what make her special.
Bu
t this training session made me wonder – if we see the need to mold our dogs into flawless creatures, why don’t we demand this of ourselves?
Do we overlook our own flaws, yet want our dogs to be perfect? How many of us acknowledge that we always flip off other drivers, run to the empty checkout line ahead of the slower retired couple, keep the change when the cashier makes a mistake in our favor, but don’t make any effort to change our own bad behavior?
Even Olivia’s owner admitted that her previous dog would get on the sofa when no one was looking, and sometimes raided the bathroom garbage to satisfy his craving for used Q-tips.
No dog – or person – is perfect. If we can accept – and live with – our own flaws, shouldn’t we love our dogs, flaws and all?
So in this world
Of the simple and odd
The bent and plain,
The unbalanced bod,
The imperfect people
And differently pawed,
Some live without love…
That’s how they’re flawed.
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