In this post, and the next two, I will address the three C’s of being a good dog owner:
Calm, Confidence, and Consistency.
What does it mean to be Confident? And why should your dog give a rat’s you-know-what if you are confident, or if you are a wretched, trembling mess?
Smart reader that you are, you know the right answer already. Your dog is so bonded to you, so aware of what you are feeling and thinking, so attuned to your body language and voice tone, that she knows when you lack Confidence in any given situation.
A stranger at the door, the phone ringing at the same time a child is demanding your attention, that sketchy neighbor you pass on a walk. Your confidence plummets, your anxiety amps up, and guess what? So does your dog.
And your dog, predictably, sensing your disquiet, acts in the most embarrassing, annoying and uncontrollable manner possible.
This does nothing, of course, for your confidence. A vicious cycle ensues. The stranger/phone/neighbor presents itself, you gulp or flutter or cringe, and your dog goes bonkers.
Now I’m sure that yoga aficionados or meditators or other spiritual beings have a mantra to get through stresses like these.
For those of you too rattled by your crazed maniac of a dog to find inner peace, here is a program to help you gain confidence and stop the madness:
Step 1: Take a deep breath. Exhale. Relax.
Step 2: Think about what you want your dog to do instead of what he is doing. For example, telling him to “Sit over there” rather than watching helplessly as he “jumps over here.”
Step 3: Do NOT present your wish in the form of a question. A tentative, pretty-please?-inflected command will not have the desired effect. State your one word instruction once: “Sit” in a calm, normal voice, accompanied by the hand signal your dog associates with the cue.
Step 4: Stand tall. Keep your body, hands, and arms still.
Step 5: Resist touching your dog. You might have already noticed that physical contact only revs up an already excited dog.
Step 6: Go ahead and leash your dog if it helps you feel more in control.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Practice the above when you are not in the midst of the stressful situation.
Don’t expect perfection. Reward small steps and only move ahead to the next one when your dog “gets” it.
Your quiet confidence will actually surprise your dog, maybe even enough to stop the behavior that contributed to your (previous) lack of it.
Next: Consistency.
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